A Special White Elephant Gift

It has to be said that I love California, I'm happy to be home, and I will always consider myself a Cali girl through and through, no matter where we end up. But Texas still holds a special place in my heart (and my gut, thanks delicious BBQ for that roll). However, one particularly annoying aspect of being a California transplant in Texas (or anywhere I've spent much time) was always having to defend against California stereotypes... "No, not all Californians are liberal, hippie, pot-heads." I would say repeatedly. I for one, am relatively conservative and I've never done any drugs. Well, I smoked a half a cigarette once at a white trash party, but that was only to get into character and it was perfectly legal. And disgusting. I brushed my teeth for 10 minutes that night. But one half of a Marlboro light a drug addict does not make.

California is not comprised of a bunch of pot-heads... or so I thought.

Cut to last Saturday night at the annual Festivus for the rest of us party when it was our turn to choose a white elephant present for the gift exchange. Here are a few of the things people brought:

A rooster and decorative balls.  Get it? A cock and balls. Cheeky, but clever. I was happy with this one because the white ceramic is totally shabby chic and "balls" jokes never get old :)

There was a beta fish. Unusual and high maintenance, but a fine choice.
An all Black rendition of the Last Supper.
Strangely this was the most popular gift and the first to be stolen and locked.

There were various other gifts, but none so alarming as the one that we ended up with.

At first when we opened the box, we were pleasantly surprised to find two AMC movie tickets. Total score for a White Elephant! But wait, there's more. Rolled up in a little plastic baggie at the bottom of the box was a joint. Yes, marijuana. Flashbacks of defending California against it's drug-filled stereotype came back to bite me in the bum. It took me exactly 0.35 seconds to trade it for a game of potty golf, as the DARE program fared me well and I still say no to drugs. Apparently I'm going to have to keep saying no now that I live in California again.

All that to say, 2 points for Texas minus the Lumineers concert in Austin where everyone got second-hand high. And to all my friends in other states, go ahead and say "I told you so."


  1. AHHHH!!! This is ridiculous!!! Holy cow! We're going to a gift exchange at our church this weekend....people are pretty wild, but we've definitely never had pot!! (prob because it's illegal here. but moonshine isn't, and several church members make homemade moonshine!)

  2. Ha, wow, that is pretty crazy! Good news for you: I don't (or didn't before this post ;) think of all Californians as pot-heads, but rather as surfers :)


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