Friday, September 16, 2011

Suzie Homemaker Fail

Sewing Project
Sewing Project gone awry

In an effort for some semblance of organization,
I decided to tackle one of the piles of clothes
that has been laying on the floor
folded neatly in my closet all week.
**Thanks mama for cleaning my room :)** 
Impractically, I decided to start
with the alterations pile.
{BIG mistake!}
Hemming pants and raising straps is nothing new to a midget like myself, but I usually just complete these tasks the old fashioned way... needle and thread in hand [with bandaids close by] while watching Real Housewives of wherever and throwing the clothes in a pile folding my projects neatly when I get bored of it [usually by commercial time.] There is nothing intimidating about a needle and thread, and the thread color is easy to switch out.  FYI: Not so on a sewing machine.

But for some reason, I was feeling particularly domestic and thought it a good idea to break out my handy dandy (a little groovy with the floral motif) sewing machine.
It was all downhill from there.

Side note and random fact #1 : Every woman in my family is incredibly gifted when it comes to house-wife things like sewing and crafting and cooking and cleaning and all that other stuff I haven't yet mastered... See the wedding dress I'm wearing in the background picture? Yeah, Grama Charlene altered that from a size 10 to a 4 and brought the hemline up about 3 feet all in one afternoon. And I can't even tell you how many wedding dresses and cakes she made from scratch! She's a.maz.ing. I want to be just like her when I grow up, except for the birthing 10 kids thing, that's just insane!
One of my wedding dresses. Yeah, there were a couple. A girl's gotta have options!
Grama and Grampa with the first 5 kiddos ...
Grama is probably younger than me in this picture,
and she probably made all their swimsuits too :)
And my mom is an awesome seamstress as well. Check out the costumes she made for my little sisters!


This is one of the best pictures ever! We're convinced Missy is a narcoleptic!
Then there's me.
To say I'm not craft-capable is an understatement.
To call me "crafti-capped" is more accurate.
I once super-glued my fingers together while attempting to apply acrylic nails. Do you see where this is going?

Yes, my fingers were superglued together.
Not sure why the picture is sideways, but just goes to show
my lack of skills extends to computers as well.

Side note and random fact #2 : I LOVE clothes, I love playing dress up, and I love shopping. So when I transferred to Point Loma with a limited background in civil engineering and no direction, I was positively giddy to discover they had a fashion merchandising major and signed up for every. single. class.  And I got straight A's in all of them. All except for fundamentals of flat pattern making and garment construction. I got a B and that was very merciful on Dr. Murray's part! ----Let's just say I "cut corners" in class... substituting velcro in place of zippers, overly relying on my seam-ripper, using belts and ribbons to improve ease of fit instead of darts, and I did not press a single seam,
whatever that means!---- 

You'd think with all those mad seamstress skills I would have had an easy go at it. Wrong. Though I never forgot how to thread the needle and switch the thread in the bobbin in under a minute - I earned my A on that task!  I knew sewing night was over after that dumb machine broke not 1, but 2 needles, sufficiently tangled the thing-a-ma bobbin thread in the metal sharp thing that I couldn't screw back into the lower compartment, and when I pushed the pedal it made a clunky metal sound and poked holes in the hemline of my jeans.

I surrendered at that point.

But this whole mess is still sitting in my sewing room which by the way, is going to quickly be converted to an anti-sewing room and that machine is going back in the miserable box it came from. And rolled up jeans are going to be all the rage this season.
Says the girl with the 1/2 hemmed Hudsons and a needle and thread in pin cushion.

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