Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Up


Pixar's "Up

Fulbright: A possible adventure in Argentina

Andrew recently applied for a scholarship (fulbright grant) to live and conduct research in Argentina (just south of Buenos Aires) for 10 months. He would be doing work for his dissertation to complete his PhD. He applied way back in September and we won’t hear back until March either way. But, if he is accepted, we would move to Argentina in February 2013 and stay there through November 2013.

Everything is still way way way up in the air, and the likelihood of this happening is fairly slim, but it is a possibility. I mean, Texas was once “just a possibility.“


There is something familiar about all this... uncertainty, change, adventure, and stress.  It brings me right back to 3 years ago when Andrew was filling out grad school applications and I was thinking "Sure, you can apply to San Antonio and Denver, as long as you apply to Santa Barbara and San Diego and Irvine and…"  {A whole bunch of other schools in southern California.}  I was ok with the possibility of moving away as long as there was a greater possiblity of staying. And we prayed about it and waited and waited and waited to hear back from schools.


*If there's anything I hate most in the whole world, it's waiting.

We all know what happened... Fast forward a few months to us moving to San Antonio (because they were the only program that was accepting students in the lit department and offered a fellowship~ icing on the cake.) Looking back, our move to Texas was the biggest change of our lives and it was undoubtedly an answered prayer - We're where God wants us to be and the PhD program is great and our friends are wonderful and we're plugged into an awesome church and I'm working full time. But our time here is temporary. It's half way over already. And what happens next? What exactly are we half way to? My "where will I be in 10 years" plan is stunted because I don't know where we'll be in 10 months. 
Moving... somewhere.  

And so here we are again. With another big change looming overhead. And let's be honest here, I'm kind of tired of change. It feels like a setback. Like we're just floating around. I know Andrew will eventually be finished with school and we'll get to settle down somewhere and life will feel more normal, but right now, in the midst of the chaos, it seems so far away. Argentina seems so far away. I'm scared of such a big move. Are we prepared for life in another country, another continent? Another big move. Being married to Andrew has required a lot of big moves. San Diego (my favorite) then San Antonio (still adjusting, but we’ll call it a second favorite), and next could be anywhere really. This is a weird way to live, a bit incredibly stressful for me not being able to know exactly what is happening all the time everywhere. {Hello ulcers and stress wrinkles} But in all of this, God has been faithful. I have been impatient, untrusting, cranky, and stubborn while God has been faithful.
  
And He will continue to be faithful while we wait out this application process. And His faithfulness will follow us all the way to Argentina, or wherever we end up.   

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